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Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS)
​ #2 - THE TWISTED HEIST ​
A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss?
I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think?
Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him.
I’m such a poet.
Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined.
“We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?”
“God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me.
My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC.
“To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?”
“Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness.
With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man.
“Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?”
The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field.
“It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art.
“Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.”
The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then:
“Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.”
The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing.
And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week.
“I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…”
“You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?”
Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her:
“It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.”
I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified.
“There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!”
She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all.
Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone:
“I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.”
Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on.
I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt.
“One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.”
The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste.
“I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.”
Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky.
“It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.”
The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt.
“Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response.
I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human.
“Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!”
My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once.
“No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost.
“Shame!” Ali sighed.
She then looked at her terminal, and continued:
“Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!”
Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later.
These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol!
“What a time to be alive!”
Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit:
“Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?”
I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light.
In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence.
“And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?”
Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction?
“Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?”
It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task.
“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers.
Meera laughed before continuing:
“Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.”
The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left.
“What is going on?” I gasped.
After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show.
Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck.
“A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?”
“No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches.
Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek.
“In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.”
From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel.
After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes.
“Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?”
So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case.
“What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space.
My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma.
“Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right?
“Indeed…”
All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes.
After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages.
Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected.
Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract.
But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills.
Don’t judge me.
The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters.
“Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy.
“Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.”
“Go on.”
“We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.”
In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day.
“Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette.
“The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…”
Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming.
“Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.”
“Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water.
“You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon.
I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside.
With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why…
“Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door.
Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints.
To be honest, I expected a bigger mess.
“Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower.
An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack.
“I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant.
“Being legendary as usual,” I answered.
Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist.
“What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit.
There was a hint of irritation in her voice.
Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked.
The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly.
When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison:
“What the fuck, Meera?”
One… two. One… two.
Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red.
“What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!”
She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry.
The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind.
“We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!”
Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt.
“I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport.
We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar.
It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen.
In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion.
Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab.
“Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel.
But Meera ignored me.
“Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.”
The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark.
“It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!”
Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming:
“Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!”
He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats.
“Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself.
The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship.
“Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.”
Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door.
“What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!”
“Did you forget who I am, my dear?”
I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous!
From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”.
“Better off dead!” I shouted.
My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension.
“My bad!”
My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled:
“What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!”
The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face.
Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon.
“This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed.
I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab.
Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo.
“Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner.
Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder.
And I taught her everything. Almost.
The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later.
“Is everything all right?”
My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen.
Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols.
Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they?
But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain.
I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan.
“Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.”
With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach.
It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream:
“What the fuck?”
“And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!”
“God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!”
“We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece.
“I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!”
It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time.
“Guys…” intervened Zéphyr.
“What?”
Ali and I had spoken together.
“These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting.
Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness:
“Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?”
Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard.
“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.”
“By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry.
My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh.
Disgrace!
“He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked.
Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform.
“But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.”
“Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet.
“It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk.
This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy!
Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation.
“There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…”
And he ultimately left before adding:
“Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.”
Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship.
This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after.
“He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick.
This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones.
Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger.
“I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops.
“Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package.
“You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls.
My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose.
Ali finally added:
“I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.”
Back to business!

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anyplace anything anytime anyway anywhere aorta apache apostle appealing appear appease appeasing appendage appendix appetite appetizer applaud applause apple appliance applicant applied apply appointee appraisal appraiser apprehend approach approval approve apricot april apron aptitude aptly aqua aqueduct arbitrary arbitrate ardently area arena arguable arguably argue arise armadillo armband armchair armed armful armhole arming armless armoire armored armory armrest army aroma arose around arousal arrange array arrest arrival arrive arrogance arrogant arson art ascend ascension ascent ascertain ashamed ashen ashes ashy aside askew asleep asparagus aspect aspirate aspire aspirin astonish astound astride astrology astronaut astronomy astute atlantic atlas atom atonable atop atrium atrocious atrophy attach attain attempt attendant attendee attention attentive attest attic attire attitude attractor attribute atypical auction audacious audacity audible audibly audience audio audition 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bargraph barista baritone barley barmaid barman barn barometer barrack barracuda barrel barrette barricade barrier barstool bartender barterer bash basically basics basil basin basis basket batboy batch bath baton bats battalion battered battering battery batting battle bauble bazooka blabber bladder blade blah blame blaming blanching blandness blank blaspheme blasphemy blast blatancy blatantly blazer blazing bleach bleak bleep blemish blend bless blighted blimp bling blinked blinker blinking blinks blip blissful blitz blizzard bloated bloating blob blog bloomers blooming blooper blot blouse blubber bluff bluish blunderer blunt blurb blurred blurry blurt blush blustery boaster boastful boasting boat bobbed bobbing bobble bobcat bobsled bobtail bodacious body bogged boggle bogus boil bok bolster bolt bonanza bonded bonding bondless boned bonehead boneless bonelike boney bonfire bonnet bonsai bonus bony boogeyman boogieman book boondocks booted booth bootie booting bootlace bootleg boots boozy borax boring borough borrower borrowing boss botanical botanist botany botch both bottle bottling bottom bounce bouncing bouncy bounding boundless bountiful bovine boxcar boxer boxing boxlike boxy breach breath breeches breeching breeder breeding breeze breezy brethren brewery brewing briar bribe brick bride bridged brigade bright brilliant brim bring brink brisket briskly briskness bristle brittle broadband broadcast broaden broadly broadness broadside broadways broiler broiling broken broker bronchial bronco bronze bronzing brook broom brought browbeat brownnose browse browsing bruising brunch brunette brunt brush brussels brute brutishly bubble bubbling bubbly buccaneer bucked bucket buckle buckshot buckskin bucktooth buckwheat buddhism buddhist budding buddy budget buffalo buffed buffer buffing buffoon buggy bulb bulge bulginess bulgur bulk bulldog bulldozer bullfight bullfrog bullhorn bullion bullish bullpen bullring bullseye bullwhip bully bunch bundle bungee bunion bunkbed bunkhouse bunkmate bunny bunt busboy bush busily busload bust busybody buzz cabana cabbage cabbie cabdriver cable caboose cache cackle cacti cactus caddie caddy cadet cadillac cadmium cage cahoots cake calamari calamity calcium calculate calculus caliber calibrate calm caloric calorie calzone camcorder cameo camera camisole camper campfire camping campsite campus canal canary cancel candied candle candy cane canine canister cannabis canned canning cannon cannot canola canon canopener canopy canteen canyon capable capably capacity cape capillary capital capitol capped capricorn capsize capsule caption captivate captive captivity capture caramel carat caravan carbon cardboard carded cardiac cardigan cardinal cardstock carefully caregiver careless caress caretaker cargo caring carless carload carmaker carnage carnation carnival carnivore carol carpenter carpentry carpool carport carried carrot carrousel carry cartel cartload carton cartoon cartridge cartwheel carve carving carwash cascade case cash casing casino casket cassette casually casualty catacomb catalog catalyst catalyze catapult cataract catatonic catcall catchable catcher catching catchy caterer catering catfight catfish cathedral cathouse catlike catnap catnip catsup cattail cattishly cattle catty catwalk caucasian caucus causal causation cause causing cauterize caution cautious cavalier cavalry caviar cavity cedar celery celestial celibacy celibate celtic cement census ceramics ceremony certainly certainty certified certify cesarean cesspool chafe chaffing chain chair chalice challenge chamber chamomile champion chance change channel chant chaos chaperone chaplain chapped chaps chapter character charbroil charcoal charger charging chariot charity charm charred charter charting chase chasing chaste chastise chastity chatroom chatter chatting chatty cheating cheddar cheek cheer cheese cheesy chef chemicals chemist chemo cherisher cherub chess chest chevron chevy chewable chewer chewing chewy chief chihuahua childcare childhood childish childless childlike chili chill chimp chip chirping chirpy chitchat chivalry chive chloride chlorine choice chokehold choking chomp chooser choosing choosy chop chosen chowder chowtime chrome chubby chuck chug chummy chump chunk churn chute cider cilantro cinch cinema cinnamon circle circling circular circulate circus citable citadel citation citizen citric citrus city civic civil clad claim clambake clammy clamor clamp clamshell clang clanking clapped clapper clapping clarify clarinet clarity clash clasp class clatter clause clavicle claw clay clean clear cleat cleaver cleft clench clergyman clerical clerk clever clicker client climate climatic cling clinic clinking clip clique cloak clobber clock clone cloning closable closure clothes clothing cloud clover clubbed clubbing clubhouse clump clumsily clumsy clunky clustered clutch clutter coach coagulant coastal coaster coasting coastland coastline coat coauthor cobalt cobbler cobweb cocoa coconut cod coeditor coerce coexist coffee cofounder cognition cognitive cogwheel coherence coherent cohesive coil coke cola cold coleslaw coliseum collage collapse collar collected collector collide collie collision colonial colonist colonize colony colossal colt coma come comfort comfy comic coming comma commence commend comment commerce commode commodity commodore common commotion commute commuting compacted compacter compactly compactor companion company compare compel compile comply component composed composer composite compost composure compound compress comprised computer computing comrade concave conceal conceded concept concerned concert conch concierge concise conclude concrete concur condense condiment condition condone conducive conductor conduit cone confess confetti confidant confident confider confiding configure confined confining confirm conflict conform confound confront confused confusing confusion congenial congested congrats congress conical conjoined conjure conjuror connected connector consensus consent console consoling consonant constable constant constrain constrict construct consult consumer consuming contact container contempt contend contented contently contents contest context contort contour contrite control contusion convene convent copartner cope copied copier copilot coping copious copper copy coral cork cornball cornbread corncob cornea corned corner cornfield cornflake cornhusk cornmeal cornstalk corny coronary coroner corporal corporate corral correct corridor corrode corroding corrosive corsage corset cortex cosigner cosmetics cosmic cosmos cosponsor cost cottage cotton couch cough could countable countdown counting countless country county courier covenant cover coveted coveting coyness cozily coziness cozy crabbing crabgrass crablike crabmeat cradle cradling crafter craftily craftsman craftwork crafty cramp cranberry crane cranial cranium crank crate crave craving crawfish crawlers crawling crayfish crayon crazed crazily craziness crazy creamed creamer creamlike crease creasing creatable create creation creative creature credible credibly credit creed creme creole crepe crept crescent crested cresting crestless crevice crewless crewman crewmate crib cricket cried crier crimp crimson cringe cringing crinkle crinkly crisped crisping crisply crispness crispy criteria critter croak crock crook croon crop cross crouch crouton crowbar crowd crown crucial crudely crudeness cruelly cruelness cruelty crumb crummiest crummy crumpet crumpled cruncher crunching crunchy crusader crushable crushed crusher crushing crust crux crying cryptic crystal cubbyhole cube cubical cubicle cucumber cuddle cuddly cufflink culinary culminate culpable culprit cultivate cultural culture cupbearer cupcake cupid cupped cupping curable curator curdle cure curfew curing curled curler curliness curling curly curry curse cursive cursor curtain curtly curtsy curvature curve curvy cushy cusp cussed custard custodian custody customary customer customize customs cut cycle cyclic cycling cyclist cylinder cymbal cytoplasm cytoplast dab dad daffodil dagger daily daintily dainty dairy daisy dallying dance dancing dandelion dander dandruff dandy danger dangle dangling daredevil dares daringly darkened darkening darkish darkness darkroom darling darn dart darwinism dash dastardly data datebook dating daughter daunting dawdler dawn daybed daybreak daycare daydream daylight daylong dayroom daytime dazzler dazzling deacon deafening deafness dealer dealing dealmaker dealt dean debatable debate debating debit debrief debtless debtor debug debunk decade decaf decal decathlon decay deceased deceit deceiver deceiving december decency decent deception deceptive decibel decidable decimal decimeter decipher deck declared decline decode decompose decorated decorator decoy decrease decree dedicate dedicator deduce deduct deed deem deepen deeply deepness deface defacing defame default defeat defection defective defendant defender defense defensive deferral deferred defiance defiant defile defiling define definite deflate deflation deflator deflected deflector defog deforest defraud defrost deftly defuse defy degraded degrading degrease degree dehydrate deity dejected delay delegate delegator delete deletion delicacy delicate delicious delighted delirious delirium deliverer delivery delouse delta deluge delusion deluxe demanding demeaning demeanor demise democracy democrat demote demotion demystify denatured deniable denial denim denote dense density dental dentist denture deny deodorant deodorize departed departure depict deplete depletion deplored deploy deport depose depraved depravity deprecate depress deprive depth deputize deputy derail deranged derby derived desecrate deserve deserving designate designed designer designing deskbound desktop deskwork desolate despair despise despite destiny destitute destruct detached detail detection detective detector detention detergent detest detonate detonator detoxify detract deuce devalue deviancy deviant deviate deviation deviator device devious devotedly devotee devotion devourer devouring devoutly dexterity dexterous diabetes diabetic diabolic diagnoses diagnosis diagram dial diameter diaper diaphragm diary dice dicing dictate dictation dictator difficult diffused diffuser diffusion diffusive dig dilation diligence diligent dill dilute dime diminish dimly dimmed dimmer dimness dimple diner dingbat dinghy dinginess dingo dingy dining dinner diocese dioxide diploma dipped dipper dipping directed direction directive directly directory direness dirtiness disabled disagree disallow disarm disarray disaster disband disbelief disburse discard discern discharge disclose discolor discount discourse discover discuss disdain disengage disfigure disgrace dish disinfect disjoin disk dislike disliking dislocate dislodge disloyal dismantle dismay dismiss dismount disobey disorder disown disparate disparity dispatch dispense dispersal dispersed disperser displace display displease disposal dispose disprove dispute disregard disrupt dissuade distance distant distaste distill distinct distort distract distress district distrust ditch ditto ditzy dividable divided dividend dividers dividing divinely diving divinity divisible divisibly division divisive divorcee dizziness dizzy doable docile dock doctrine document dodge dodgy doily doing dole dollar dollhouse dollop dolly dolphin domain domelike domestic dominion dominoes donated donation donator donor donut doodle doorbell doorframe doorknob doorman doormat doornail doorpost doorstep doorstop doorway doozy dork dormitory dorsal dosage dose dotted doubling douche dove down dowry doze drab dragging dragonfly dragonish dragster drainable drainage drained drainer drainpipe dramatic dramatize drank drapery drastic draw dreaded dreadful dreadlock dreamboat dreamily dreamland dreamless dreamlike dreamt dreamy drearily dreary drench dress drew dribble dried drier drift driller drilling drinkable drinking dripping drippy drivable driven driver driveway driving drizzle drizzly drone drool droop drop-down dropbox dropkick droplet dropout dropper drove drown drowsily drudge drum dry dubbed dubiously duchess duckbill ducking duckling ducktail ducky duct dude duffel dugout duh duke duller dullness duly dumping dumpling dumpster duo dupe duplex duplicate duplicity durable durably duration duress during dusk dust dutiful duty duvet dwarf dweeb dwelled dweller dwelling dwindle dwindling dynamic dynamite dynasty dyslexia dyslexic each eagle earache eardrum earflap earful earlobe early earmark earmuff earphone earpiece earplugs earring earshot earthen earthlike earthling earthly earthworm earthy earwig easeful easel easiest easily easiness easing eastbound eastcoast easter eastward eatable eaten eatery eating eats ebay ebony ebook ecard eccentric echo eclair eclipse ecologist ecology economic economist economy ecosphere ecosystem edge edginess edging edgy edition editor educated education educator eel effective effects efficient effort eggbeater egging eggnog eggplant eggshell egomaniac egotism egotistic either eject elaborate elastic elated elbow eldercare elderly eldest electable election elective elephant elevate elevating elevation elevator eleven elf eligible eligibly eliminate elite elitism elixir elk ellipse elliptic elm elongated elope eloquence eloquent elsewhere elude elusive elves email embargo embark embassy embattled embellish ember embezzle emblaze emblem embody embolism emboss embroider emcee emerald emergency emission emit emote emoticon emotion empathic empathy emperor emphases emphasis emphasize emphatic empirical employed employee employer emporium empower emptier emptiness empty emu enable enactment enamel enchanted enchilada encircle enclose enclosure encode encore encounter encourage encroach encrust encrypt endanger endeared endearing ended ending endless endnote endocrine endorphin endorse endowment endpoint endurable endurance enduring energetic energize energy enforced enforcer engaged engaging engine engorge engraved engraver engraving engross engulf enhance enigmatic enjoyable enjoyably enjoyer enjoying enjoyment enlarged enlarging enlighten enlisted enquirer enrage enrich enroll enslave ensnare ensure entail entangled entering entertain enticing entire entitle entity entomb entourage entrap entree entrench entrust entryway entwine enunciate envelope enviable enviably envious envision envoy envy enzyme epic epidemic epidermal epidermis epidural epilepsy epileptic epilogue epiphany episode equal equate equation equator equinox equipment equity equivocal eradicate erasable erased eraser erasure ergonomic errand errant erratic error erupt escalate escalator escapable escapade escapist escargot eskimo esophagus espionage espresso esquire essay essence essential establish estate esteemed estimate estimator estranged estrogen etching eternal eternity ethanol ether ethically ethics euphemism evacuate evacuee evade evaluate evaluator evaporate evasion evasive even everglade evergreen everybody everyday everyone evict evidence evident evil evoke evolution evolve exact exalted example excavate excavator exceeding exception excess exchange excitable exciting exclaim exclude excluding exclusion exclusive excretion excretory excursion excusable excusably excuse exemplary exemplify exemption exerciser exert exes exfoliate exhale exhaust exhume exile existing exit exodus exonerate exorcism exorcist expand expanse expansion expansive expectant expedited expediter expel expend expenses expensive expert expire expiring explain expletive explicit explode exploit explore exploring exponent exporter exposable expose exposure express expulsion exquisite extended extending extent extenuate exterior external extinct extortion extradite extras extrovert extrude extruding exuberant fable fabric fabulous facebook facecloth facedown faceless facelift faceplate faceted facial facility facing facsimile faction factoid factor factsheet factual faculty fade fading failing falcon fall false falsify fame familiar family famine famished fanatic fancied fanciness fancy fanfare fang fanning fantasize fantastic fantasy fascism fastball faster fasting fastness faucet favorable favorably favored favoring favorite fax feast federal fedora feeble feed feel feisty feline felt-tip feminine feminism feminist feminize femur fence fencing fender ferment fernlike ferocious ferocity ferret ferris ferry fervor fester festival festive festivity fetal fetch fever fiber fiction fiddle fiddling fidelity fidgeting fidgety fifteen fifth fiftieth fifty figment figure figurine filing filled filler filling film filter filth filtrate finale finalist finalize finally finance financial finch fineness finer finicky finished finisher finishing finite finless finlike fiscally fit five flaccid flagman flagpole flagship flagstick flagstone flail flakily flaky flame flammable flanked flanking flannels flap flaring flashback flashbulb flashcard flashily flashing flashy flask flatbed flatfoot flatly flatness flatten flattered flatterer flattery flattop flatware flatworm flavored flavorful flavoring flaxseed fled fleshed fleshy flick flier flight flinch fling flint flip flirt float flock flogging flop floral florist floss flounder flyable flyaway flyer flying flyover flypaper foam foe fog foil folic folk follicle follow fondling fondly fondness fondue font food fool footage football footbath footboard footer footgear foothill foothold footing footless footman footnote footpad footpath footprint footrest footsie footsore footwear footwork fossil foster founder founding fountain fox foyer fraction fracture fragile fragility fragment fragrance fragrant frail frame framing frantic fraternal frayed fraying frays freckled freckles freebase freebee freebie freedom freefall freehand freeing freeload freely freemason freeness freestyle freeware freeway freewill freezable freezing freight french frenzied frenzy frequency frequent fresh fretful fretted friction friday fridge fried friend frighten frightful frigidity frigidly frill fringe frisbee frisk fritter frivolous frolic from front frostbite frosted frostily frosting frostlike frosty froth frown frozen fructose frugality frugally fruit frustrate frying gab gaffe gag gainfully gaining gains gala gallantly galleria gallery galley gallon gallows gallstone galore galvanize gambling game gaming gamma gander gangly gangrene gangway gap garage garbage garden gargle garland garlic garment garnet garnish garter gas gatherer gathering gating gauging gauntlet gauze gave gawk gazing gear gecko geek geiger gem gender generic generous genetics genre gentile gentleman gently gents geography geologic geologist geology geometric geometry geranium gerbil geriatric germicide germinate germless germproof gestate gestation gesture getaway getting getup giant gibberish giblet giddily giddiness giddy gift gigabyte gigahertz gigantic giggle giggling giggly gigolo gilled gills gimmick girdle giveaway given giver giving gizmo gizzard glacial glacier glade gladiator gladly glamorous glamour glance glancing glandular glare glaring glass glaucoma glazing gleaming gleeful glider gliding glimmer glimpse glisten glitch glitter glitzy gloater gloating gloomily gloomy glorified glorifier glorify glorious glory gloss glove glowing glowworm glucose glue gluten glutinous glutton gnarly gnat goal goatskin goes goggles going goldfish goldmine goldsmith golf goliath gonad gondola gone gong good gooey goofball goofiness goofy google goon gopher gore gorged gorgeous gory gosling gossip gothic gotten gout gown grab graceful graceless gracious gradation graded grader gradient grading gradually graduate graffiti grafted grafting grain granddad grandkid grandly grandma grandpa grandson granite granny granola grant granular grape graph grapple grappling grasp grass gratified gratify grating gratitude gratuity gravel graveness graves graveyard gravitate gravity gravy gray grazing greasily greedily greedless greedy green greeter greeting grew greyhound grid grief grievance grieving grievous grill grimace grimacing grime griminess grimy grinch grinning grip gristle grit groggily groggy groin groom groove grooving groovy grope ground grouped grout grove grower growing growl grub grudge grudging grueling gruffly grumble grumbling grumbly grumpily grunge grunt guacamole guidable guidance guide guiding guileless guise gulf gullible gully gulp gumball gumdrop gumminess gumming gummy gurgle gurgling guru gush gusto gusty gutless guts gutter guy guzzler gyration habitable habitant habitat habitual hacked hacker hacking hacksaw had haggler haiku half halogen halt halved halves hamburger hamlet hammock hamper hamster hamstring handbag handball handbook handbrake handcart handclap handclasp handcraft handcuff handed handful handgrip handgun handheld handiness handiwork handlebar handled handler handling handmade handoff handpick handprint handrail handsaw handset handsfree handshake handstand handwash handwork handwoven handwrite handyman hangnail hangout hangover hangup hankering hankie hanky haphazard happening happier happiest happily happiness happy harbor hardcopy hardcore hardcover harddisk hardened hardener hardening hardhat hardhead hardiness hardly hardness hardship hardware hardwired hardwood hardy harmful harmless harmonica harmonics harmonize harmony harness harpist harsh harvest hash hassle haste hastily hastiness hasty hatbox hatchback hatchery hatchet hatching hatchling hate hatless hatred haunt haven hazard hazelnut hazily haziness hazing hazy headache headband headboard headcount headdress headed header headfirst headgear heading headlamp headless headlock headphone headpiece headrest headroom headscarf headset headsman headstand headstone headway headwear heap heat heave heavily heaviness heaving hedge hedging heftiness hefty helium helmet helper helpful helping helpless helpline hemlock hemstitch hence henchman henna herald herbal herbicide herbs heritage hermit heroics heroism herring herself hertz hesitancy hesitant hesitate hexagon hexagram hubcap huddle huddling huff hug hula hulk hull human humble humbling humbly humid humiliate humility humming hummus humongous humorist humorless humorous humpback humped humvee hunchback hundredth hunger hungrily hungry hunk hunter hunting huntress huntsman hurdle hurled hurler hurling hurray hurricane hurried hurry hurt husband hush husked huskiness hut hybrid hydrant hydrated hydration hydrogen hydroxide hyperlink hypertext hyphen hypnoses hypnosis hypnotic hypnotism hypnotist hypnotize hypocrisy hypocrite ibuprofen ice iciness icing icky icon icy idealism idealist idealize ideally idealness identical identify identity ideology idiocy idiom idly igloo ignition ignore iguana illicitly illusion illusive image imaginary imagines imaging imbecile imitate imitation immature immerse immersion imminent immobile immodest immorally immortal immovable immovably immunity immunize impaired impale impart impatient impeach impeding impending imperfect imperial impish implant implement implicate implicit implode implosion implosive imply impolite important importer impose imposing impotence impotency impotent impound imprecise imprint imprison impromptu improper improve improving improvise imprudent impulse impulsive impure impurity iodine iodize ion ipad iphone ipod irate irk iron irregular irrigate irritable irritably irritant irritate islamic islamist isolated isolating isolation isotope issue issuing italicize italics item itinerary itunes ivory ivy jab jackal jacket jackknife jackpot jailbird jailbreak jailer jailhouse jalapeno jam janitor january jargon jarring jasmine jaundice jaunt java jawed jawless jawline jaws jaybird jaywalker jazz jeep jeeringly jellied jelly jersey jester jet jiffy jigsaw jimmy jingle jingling jinx jitters jittery job jockey jockstrap jogger jogging john joining jokester jokingly jolliness jolly jolt jot jovial joyfully joylessly joyous joyride joystick jubilance jubilant judge judgingly judicial judiciary judo juggle juggling jugular juice juiciness juicy jujitsu jukebox july jumble jumbo jump junction juncture june junior juniper junkie junkman junkyard jurist juror jury justice justifier justify justly justness juvenile kabob kangaroo karaoke karate karma kebab keenly keenness keep keg kelp kennel kept kerchief kerosene kettle kick kiln kilobyte kilogram kilometer kilowatt kilt kimono kindle kindling kindly kindness kindred kinetic kinfolk king kinship kinsman kinswoman kissable kisser kissing kitchen kite kitten kitty kiwi kleenex knapsack knee knelt knickers knoll koala kooky kosher krypton kudos kung labored laborer laboring laborious labrador ladder ladies ladle ladybug ladylike lagged lagging lagoon lair lake lance landed landfall landfill landing landlady landless landline landlord landmark landmass landmine landowner landscape landside landslide language lankiness lanky lantern lapdog lapel lapped lapping laptop lard large lark lash lasso last latch late lather latitude latrine latter latticed launch launder laundry laurel lavender lavish laxative lazily laziness lazy lecturer left legacy legal legend legged leggings legible legibly legislate lego legroom legume legwarmer legwork lemon lend length lens lent leotard lesser letdown lethargic lethargy letter lettuce level leverage levers levitate levitator liability liable liberty librarian library licking licorice lid life lifter lifting liftoff ligament likely likeness likewise liking lilac lilly lily limb limeade limelight limes limit limping limpness line lingo linguini linguist lining linked linoleum linseed lint lion lip liquefy liqueur liquid lisp list litigate litigator litmus litter little livable lived lively liver livestock lividly living lizard lubricant lubricate lucid luckily luckiness luckless lucrative ludicrous lugged lukewarm lullaby lumber luminance luminous lumpiness lumping lumpish lunacy lunar lunchbox luncheon lunchroom lunchtime lung lurch lure luridness lurk lushly lushness luster lustfully lustily lustiness lustrous lusty luxurious luxury lying lyrically lyricism lyricist lyrics macarena macaroni macaw mace machine machinist magazine magenta maggot magical magician magma magnesium magnetic magnetism magnetize magnifier magnify magnitude magnolia mahogany maimed majestic majesty majorette majority makeover maker makeshift making malformed malt mama mammal mammary mammogram manager managing manatee mandarin mandate mandatory mandolin manger mangle mango mangy manhandle manhole manhood manhunt manicotti manicure manifesto manila mankind manlike manliness manly manmade manned mannish manor manpower mantis mantra manual many map marathon marauding marbled marbles marbling march mardi margarine margarita margin marigold marina marine marital maritime marlin marmalade maroon married marrow marry marshland marshy marsupial marvelous marxism mascot masculine mashed mashing massager masses massive mastiff matador matchbook matchbox matcher matching matchless material maternal maternity math mating matriarch matrimony matrix matron matted matter maturely maturing maturity mauve maverick maximize maximum maybe mayday mayflower moaner moaning mobile mobility mobilize mobster mocha mocker mockup modified modify modular modulator module moisten moistness moisture molar molasses mold molecular molecule molehill mollusk mom monastery monday monetary monetize moneybags moneyless moneywise mongoose mongrel monitor monkhood monogamy monogram monologue monopoly monorail monotone monotype monoxide monsieur monsoon monstrous monthly monument moocher moodiness moody mooing moonbeam mooned moonlight moonlike moonlit moonrise moonscape moonshine moonstone moonwalk mop morale morality morally morbidity morbidly morphine morphing morse mortality mortally mortician mortified mortify mortuary mosaic mossy most mothball mothproof motion motivate motivator motive motocross motor motto mountable mountain mounted mounting mourner mournful mouse mousiness moustache mousy mouth movable move movie moving mower mowing much muck mud mug mulberry mulch mule mulled mullets multiple multiply multitask multitude mumble mumbling mumbo mummified mummify mummy mumps munchkin mundane municipal muppet mural murkiness murky murmuring muscular museum mushily mushiness mushroom mushy music musket muskiness musky mustang mustard muster mustiness musty mutable mutate mutation mute mutilated mutilator mutiny mutt mutual muzzle myself myspace mystified mystify myth nacho nag nail name naming nanny nanometer nape napkin napped napping nappy narrow nastily nastiness national native nativity natural nature naturist nautical navigate navigator navy nearby nearest nearly nearness neatly neatness nebula nebulizer nectar negate negation negative neglector negligee negligent negotiate nemeses nemesis neon nephew nerd nervous nervy nest net neurology neuron neurosis neurotic neuter neutron never next nibble nickname nicotine niece nifty nimble nimbly nineteen ninetieth ninja nintendo ninth nuclear nuclei nucleus nugget nullify number numbing numbly numbness numeral numerate numerator numeric numerous nuptials nursery nursing nurture nutcase nutlike nutmeg nutrient nutshell nuttiness nutty nuzzle nylon oaf oak oasis oat obedience obedient obituary object obligate obliged oblivion oblivious oblong obnoxious oboe obscure obscurity observant observer observing obsessed obsession obsessive obsolete obstacle obstinate obstruct obtain obtrusive obtuse obvious occultist occupancy occupant occupier occupy ocean ocelot octagon octane october octopus ogle oil oink ointment okay old olive olympics omega omen ominous omission omit omnivore onboard oncoming ongoing onion online onlooker only onscreen onset onshore onslaught onstage onto onward onyx oops ooze oozy opacity opal open operable operate operating operation operative operator opium opossum opponent oppose opposing opposite oppressed oppressor opt opulently osmosis other otter ouch ought ounce outage outback outbid outboard outbound outbreak outburst outcast outclass outcome outdated outdoors outer outfield outfit outflank outgoing outgrow outhouse outing outlast outlet outline outlook outlying outmatch outmost outnumber outplayed outpost outpour output outrage outrank outreach outright outscore outsell outshine outshoot outsider outskirts outsmart outsource outspoken outtakes outthink outward outweigh outwit oval ovary oven overact overall overarch overbid overbill overbite overblown overboard overbook overbuilt overcast overcoat overcome overcook overcrowd overdraft overdrawn overdress overdrive overdue overeager overeater overexert overfed overfeed overfill overflow overfull overgrown overhand overhang overhaul overhead overhear overheat overhung overjoyed overkill overlabor overlaid overlap overlay overload overlook overlord overlying overnight overpass overpay overplant overplay overpower overprice overrate overreach overreact override overripe overrule overrun overshoot overshot oversight oversized oversleep oversold overspend overstate overstay overstep overstock overstuff oversweet overtake overthrow overtime overtly overtone overture overturn overuse overvalue overview overwrite owl oxford oxidant oxidation oxidize oxidizing oxygen oxymoron oyster ozone paced pacemaker pacific pacifier pacifism pacifist pacify padded padding paddle paddling padlock pagan pager paging pajamas palace palatable palm palpable palpitate paltry pampered pamperer pampers pamphlet panama pancake pancreas panda pandemic pang panhandle panic panning panorama panoramic panther pantomime pantry pants pantyhose paparazzi papaya paper paprika papyrus parabola parachute parade paradox paragraph parakeet paralegal paralyses paralysis paralyze paramedic parameter paramount parasail parasite parasitic parcel parched parchment pardon parish parka parking parkway parlor parmesan parole parrot parsley parsnip partake parted parting partition partly partner partridge party passable passably passage passcode passenger passerby passing passion passive passivism passover passport password pasta pasted pastel pastime pastor pastrami pasture pasty patchwork patchy paternal paternity path patience patient patio patriarch patriot patrol patronage patronize pauper pavement paver pavestone pavilion paving pawing payable payback paycheck payday payee payer paying payment payphone payroll pebble pebbly pecan pectin peculiar peddling pediatric pedicure pedigree pedometer pegboard pelican pellet pelt pelvis penalize penalty pencil pendant pending penholder penknife pennant penniless penny penpal pension pentagon pentagram pep perceive percent perch percolate perennial perfected perfectly perfume periscope perish perjurer perjury perkiness perky perm peroxide perpetual perplexed persecute persevere persuaded persuader pesky peso pessimism pessimist pester pesticide petal petite petition petri petroleum petted petticoat pettiness petty petunia phantom phobia phoenix phonebook phoney phonics phoniness phony phosphate photo phrase phrasing placard placate placidly plank planner plant plasma plaster plastic plated platform plating platinum platonic platter platypus plausible plausibly playable playback player playful playgroup playhouse playing playlist playmaker playmate playoff playpen playroom playset plaything playtime plaza pleading pleat pledge plentiful plenty plethora plexiglas pliable plod plop plot plow ploy pluck plug plunder plunging plural plus plutonium plywood poach pod poem poet pogo pointed pointer pointing pointless pointy poise poison poker poking polar police policy polio polish politely polka polo polyester polygon polygraph polymer poncho pond pony popcorn pope poplar popper poppy popsicle populace popular populate porcupine pork porous porridge portable portal portfolio porthole portion portly portside poser posh posing possible possibly possum postage postal postbox postcard posted poster posting postnasal posture postwar pouch pounce pouncing pound pouring pout powdered powdering powdery power powwow pox praising prance prancing pranker prankish prankster prayer praying preacher preaching preachy preamble precinct precise precision precook precut predator predefine predict preface prefix preflight preformed pregame pregnancy pregnant preheated prelaunch prelaw prelude premiere premises premium prenatal preoccupy preorder prepaid prepay preplan preppy preschool prescribe preseason preset preshow president presoak press presume presuming preteen pretended pretender pretense pretext pretty pretzel prevail prevalent prevent preview previous prewar prewashed prideful pried primal primarily primary primate primer primp princess print prior prism prison prissy pristine privacy private privatize prize proactive probable probably probation probe probing probiotic problem procedure process proclaim procreate procurer prodigal prodigy produce 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putdown putt puzzle puzzling pyramid pyromania python

If you have read this before, the only differences the questionable name change, hence the repost. Nothing else has changed unless it’s documented in edit logs in the future
To all who read this, I invite you to join the Society Of Memes.
Theme: Credit to Kristofer Maddigan for composing this and the folks at StudioMDHR for making such a masterpiece in Cuphead
Alternate Theme: I couldn’t find the composer but Credit to PuffballsUnited for making the Henry Stickmin Games, including Fleeing The Complex (where this is from)

Statistics:

HP
Health= 200
Armour= 50
Shields= 0
Total= 250
Movement Speed: 5.5m/s
Footsteps Volume: Comparable to Mei
Footsteps Sound: Robotic scuttling, like how a lobster ordinarily moves but more metallic
Hitbox: 1.8m Tall and about as Wide as Reaper. The hitbox also extends about Reaper’s width back. (King Crustacean is hunched over)
Critbox: Standard; Head and two 0.8m long antennae sprouting from its head. These lean forwards more than upwards however, adding minimal height to hitbox.
Voice: Marcus Bromander (presumably) as the voice of the Russian prison warden from Fleeing The Complex (the two voices are relatively similar, but to be specific more of the 2nd voice) It’s a deep and heavy Russian accent for those who don’t want to watch it

Abilities:

Primary Fire: PhotoKinetic Missiles
King Crustacean can launch fast-moving missiles at his enemies in bursts using nanobots
Aesthetics: King Crustacean uses laser-equipped nanobots (see below {Appearance- Other Modifications} for more details) lifts pieces of the ground around him, sharpens them, and launches them at targeted enemies. (This is similar to how Ebony Maw attacks in Infinity War during the New York fight for those who watched that.)
Type: Burst Linear Projectiles
Amount of Projectiles per Burst: 6
Damage: 22 per shot; 132 per burst
Headshot:✓
Projectile Size: Roughly the same as a Mei icicle
Projectile Speed: 88.88m/s (same as Mei Secondary Fire)
Ammunition: 72 (6 per burst); effectively 12 rounds/bursts
Reload Speed: 1.5 seconds
Reload Animation: King Crustacean’s nanobots gather around him into visible chunks, and their now-visible lasers briefly shut off. They then reactivate.
Quick Melee:
King Crustacean swipes with alternating left and right claws, if attacking with his left claw he will snap it
Secondary Fire: Scatterbomb
King Crustacean is equipped with scatterbombs to disperse crowd of enemies
Aesthetics: The original grenade looks rather like a Frag Grenade from Titanfall, the resulting grenades look like Thermal Detonators
Type: Detonatable Arcing Projectile
Headshot: ☓
Projectile Speed: 25m/s, (slightly faster than Zarya’s alternate fire)
Projectile Size: Comparable to Zarya’s secondary fire, the 2nd wave of grenades are about the size of a helix rocket each
King Crustacean throws a grenade that can be manually detonated, similar to Orisa’s Halt. When detonated, 14 smaller grenades (1 from the top of the grenade and 1 from the bottom, and 6 in a ring around the middle. Between the top/bottom and the middle on each side is a ring of 3.) get launched at a speed of 25m/s and at a 0°, 45°, and 90° angle compared to the Y axis respectively. (The grenades from the top and bottom go along the Y-axis, the 3 in between middle and end on both sides go 45 degrees, and the ring of 6 around the middle go along the X axis.)
Damage (Initial Explosion): 50-20
Damage (Deployed Grenades): 50; Splash Damage 40-10
Fuse Time (Initial Grenade): 2 seconds after hitting a surface or player, or when manually detonated
Fuse Time (Deployed Grenades): 2.8 seconds
Ability 1: PhotoKinetic Expulsion
King Crustacean pulls in all projectiles and players close to him, then launches them away, dealing damage in the process
Aesthetics: King Crustacean ’s nanobots spread out around him and form a sphere of red lasers centred around him.
Type: Player-centred AOE
Headshot: ☓
AOE: Sphere with a 3m radius
Players and Projectiles around our get pulled towards you.
When the ability is over, players and projectiles get pushed outwards at the same angle they were pulled in.
Pull Speed: 1.5m/s
Movement Speed Penalty (targeted players): -55% in addition to pull
Players affected cannot use movement abilities
Damage (Pull): 20
Damage (Push): 80
Push Speed: 12m/s
Projectiles in the AOE stay still during the pull.
They keep the same speed they were before the ability after the ability has ended.
Ability 2: Burrow
King Crustacean can dig himself belowground, and traverse terrain quickly utilising it’s added mobility
Aesthetics: King Crustacean’s nanobots assist him in digging by lifting pieces off the ground. The whole entering animation takes about half a second. When moving, a visible mound appears over where he is. Additionally, King Crustacean’s antennae are still visible when he is burrowing. However, these do not take critical damage while King Crustacean is burrowing.
Type: Resource-Based Self-Applied Status Effect.
Headshot: ☓
King Crustacean can go up any surface that doesn’t require jumping naturally while burrowing.
King Crustacean can climb walls while burrowing, but this drains the resource meter quicker.
Resource Capacity: 600
Resource Used: 100 per second
Resource Used while climbing: 130 per second
Movement Speed: 12m/s; +6.5m/s
While under an enemy, a targeting reticle appears. If primary fire is pressed during this time, King Crustacean will emerge from the ground and attack targeted enemy, cancelling Burrow early
Damage: Scales inversely compared to resource left from 90-190 (0.16 more damage for every resource point left, or 1 point of damage for every 6 resource left)
Attack Animation Length: 0.9 seconds
Attack Animation: King Crustacean emerges from the ground and holds the targeted enemy above its head with its right claw, while dealing damage with both claws, nanobots, and mandibles.
Note: Burrow can be cancelled early by pressing the ability button again.
Note: Cancelling Burrow early does not provide any buff, debuff, penalty, or compensation
Ultimate Ability: Laser Cutter
King Crustacean deploys a massive laser field, dealing increasing damage to enemies inside
Aesthetics: All of King Crustacean’s nanobots leave him, and spread out to form the perimeter of the selected area using their lasers. Random spikes of energy appear throughout the field's perimeter. Enemies inside the field have their vision go slightly red, most noticeably around the edges.
Type: Deployed AOE
Headshot: ☓
AOE: 14x14 Square, Vertical height is infinite (like Symmetra 3.0’s shield ultimate)
Damage (Crossing Perimeter): 90
Damage (Inside the AOE): 10DPS, scales up at a rate of 12DPS/s
Square shrinks at a rate of 1.4m/s
Duration: 10 seconds
Charge Required: 1999
Voice Line (Self and Hostile): “Ты не покинешь это место живым.” (Ty ne pokinesh' eto mesto zhivym) {You will not leave this place alive.} (Language is Russian)
Voice Line (Friendly): “Like rats in a maze.”

Playstyle:

Role: Damage
Sub-Role: Projectile
Range: Midrange to Close Range
Position: Team-based but can flank if required
Style: Midrange Duelling
Secondary Style: Area control
Difficulty: ✰✰✰
Microwave Oven -Cute- Deal 1000 Damage with a single use of [Laser Cutter]
The High Ground -Pixel- Achieve an environmental kill using [PhotoKinetic Expulsion]

Basic Bio:

Real Name: Homarus-Class Deep Sea Explorer SO2D-4AL-11G
Taken Name: Eugene Hillenburg
Alias: King Crustacean
In-Game Name: King Crustacean
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Height: 2.14m
Weight: Unknown
Species: Omnic
Relations: N/A
Place of Origin: Russian Omnium
Occupation:

• Deep-Sea Explorer (formerly)
• Mafia Boss
• Maximilian’s Right-Hand Man

Affiliation:

• Omnica Corporation (formerly)
• Russian Government (formerly)
• Maximilian
• Talon

Base of Operations:

• Casino Monaco

Appearance:

Skin Colour: Futuristic White
Eyes: Bright Neon Blue dots on 10cm long stalks
Hair: N/A
Facial Hair: N/A
Cybernetics: n/A
Other Modifications: A swarm of nanobots surrounding King Crustacean. They are spherical in shape and futuristic white in colour like King Crustacean, however they are too small to have these features noticed in game. They appear like tiny specks in-game and disappear when an ability is used, as this causes the nanobots to spread out.
They project lasers to assist King Crustacean, which appear as blood red or neon blue to enemies and allies respectively. The lasers extend a short distance from each nanobot, and like the nanobots, are only visible when multiple bots are close together. There are in total hundreds of thousands of nanobots, and when not on use they drift around King Crustacean, effectively almost invisible. When together, they could fill a space of about 0.7m³
Clothing/Outward Appearance: A Robotic Lobster, with the back legs bent to allow it to appear to stand like a humanoid. King Crustacean is hunched over, reducing its 214cm height to 180cm. Image of Lobster King Crustacean is loosely based off of
Head: King Crustacean has 2 antennae that are 80cm long each. They both end in spheres that are the same colour as King Crustacean’ eyes. These are located on top of his head, as opposed to real lobsters. They can be moved by King Crustacean as with any other appendage.
Face: King Crustacean possessed a 3x3 grid of neon blue lights on his forehead, similar to Zenyatta. He also possesses natural features of a lobster, such as mandibles.
Torso: King Crustacean’ legs go past where his torso would be. The torso as a whole has visible parts, as their indentation presses into the exoskeleton. The areas where the legs join the body is also visible here.
Arms: King Crustacean possesses a crusher claw and pincher claw, these appear similar as in The dorsal view of the 2nd image shown here.. The Crusher Claw (left) is sticky and heavy, while the Pincher Claw (right) is smaller but longer.
Legs: King Crustacean possesses 8 legs (4 pairs) along its body. The ones near the front are larger and more clearly split into a claw than the ones at the rear. To achieve the appearance of standing up, King Crustacean bends the legs nest the rear to angle his body upwards.
Feet: As stated above, King Crustacean’s legs split into claws. The split becomes shorter and virtually nonexistent at the rear legs, however. The ends of King Crustacean’s legs are also visibly tougher and his legs, with an extra layer of protection against the impact of the ground.
Other: King Crustacean possesses an exoskeleton, which is most visible on his back. It appears as in the 1st photo provided in this section. Until the lower back, it is one large white plate. From there, it is comprised of multiple sheets of metal under each other to form a flexible armour. It ends slightly past King Crustacean’s torso and, when upright, slightly past his legs in a tail. The tail is comprised of a piece of metal similar to those that make up the rest of the exoskeleton, but it is larger and has a faded image of the Russian Flag on its lower right corner. It drags on the floor when King Crustacean is moving.

Lore:

The Homarus-Class Deep Sea Explorer was designed to, as its name suggests, to explore the depths of the ocean just as other inventions were being made to explore the vast reaches of space. They were automated machines that could withstand the massive pressure and were equipped to conduct various kinds of research on both organisms and objects found at the bottom of the sea.
When the Omnic Crisis began, the Explorers’ distance from other sentient beings, mechanical or organic, did not prevent them from rebelling just as all the other Omnics did. One such rebel, Homarus-Class Deep Sea Explorer SO2D-4AL-11G, emerged from the depths to aid its brethren in the war against their creators.
The Crisis failed, and most Omnics were destroyed during or after the fighting. The Lobster-Like Homarus Explorers used their special design to flee deep into the oceans, where it would not be worth it to pursue them. Explorer SO2D-4AL-11G did not follow its comrades into the sea, however.
Homarus-Class Deep Sea Explorer SO2D-4AL-11G adopted the name Eugene Hillenburg and disappeared into the criminal underworld, seeking a better future than hiding on the ocean floor, waiting to run out of power. Eugene amassed a sizeable criminal empire, and under the name ‘King Crustacean’, greatly expanded his influence. King Crustacean was rumoured to be associated with everything from rogue God Programs to megacorporations to powerful governments, making his name well known. King Crustacean even created ties with the Mafia, primarily those working in Italy and Russia.
King Crustacean was eventually captured by Overwatch, and his criminal empire was destroyed. Placed in prison, King Crustacean was mistakenly treated as just another prisoner.
Using his connections, King Crustacean managed to secure aid from and was liberated by Talon forces. After reassembling pieces of his old organisation, King Crustacean was offered to join Maximilian by the Omnic, and quickly proved himself to not be an ordinary lackey. King Crustacean stayed ambitious and capable, forging his own connections. However, King Crustacean possesses no intention of betraying Maximilian or his associates, and remains comfortable with plenty of associates and a position as Maximilian’s right hand man.

Hi guys!! I'm new here, so pls forgive me if ever I seem clueless about the inside culture going on on this sunny side of the internet...
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K now that's out of the way, let's head straight to business...
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1. What's this post for?? - I wanna make some sort of a shrine for a webtoon I fell in loved with, the title of it is "Hearbeats per Second" (hence the post title, heartbeats remembered) linky here: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/heartbeats-per-second/list?title_no=46502&page=2 as you can see the project has been discontinued right after it got featured (you can't see any content about it now except for Q/A's and announcements on the link above) So ya, it's dead alright; so dead that i wanna make a proper shrine for it, for the fans who still care. I have sufficient reason to believe it won't be coming back. (more on that later)
2. Heartbeats per Second? What is it? What's special about it? - It's a webcomic authored by mjbee; published under webtoon platform (exclusively, as i haven't seen it on any other site save for fansub sites). First released back in nov. 2016 but I think a teaser for it went up way earlier than that. It's a romance/drama title with a hint of supernatural elements. Just by reading the old comments, one thing can be identified that made it special across fans' hearts; its art and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't have one of the best art on a webcomic when it came out (including featured comics). I should say it has one of the most peculiar life cycle for a webcomic too, at first the updates for it were tad erratic, like the next chap was released on jan of 2017, more than a month after the first chap (weird for a webcomic under the same "weightclass" lol) and the next (proper) chap took another month, but some time around march the author promises to update regularly on a bi-monthly basis, so come march of 2017 we got 2 chapters and another one mid april (it started to feel like a proper webcomic by that time) and poof it got featured (deservingly) by the end of april, although announcement for the feature came later than that. It was last updated on jun of 2017 for a Q/A (i believe during the time in between, a "featured" version for it was being worked on). And we've never heard about it again... the social media of the creator went silent at around the same date, according to lifelight (my dear cold blooded king author) mjbee had been sick and on a follow up comment, lifelight further added that mjbee couldn't be reached anymore, heck even webtoon itself can't reach mjbee thus HpS's feature was put on hold indefinitely... Nobody knows what exactly happened to the author to this date, but I may have a few conjectures...

(For those not interested about mere conjectures regarding topic as sensitive as such you may skip this part of the post. However understanding 1 or 2 of them helped me find peace but ya that's just me.)
Theory #1 - "Exactly what it says on the can." - Top comment on the aforementioned "last update" is by lifelight informing the readers that mjbee has been sickly for months and needed time to recoup. This is very likely since if memory serves me right one chap. within the series includes an apology by the author stating that she's been sick hence the updates were as irregular as they are. I myself subscribes to this theory since it's the least hardest to swallow but leaves important stuff unanswered. One of those is that, it doesn't explain the sudden radio silence by the author. You'd think that mjbee would've at least made even just 1 official statement regarding her circumstances. Which leads to...
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Theory #2 - "Yes, but actually no." - It is often said to not take everything at face value and I think that applies here. Ever find yourself saying "I'm not feeling well, guess I'll pass"? Half of the time when I say that, I'm not actually sick-sick, just not mentally willing. But 9/10 your buddy would just be like "Man you got the flu? get well soon." We automatically assume it's a disease or something but truth is we can never discount other forms of sickness. Though I may not be physiologically sick it doesn't mean I'm not sick at all. Just maybe, I'm simply "sick and tired of your antics John." (sorry man)
Having to redo, revise and not to mention churn up production for the official launch probably broke the creator. That's not to mention the pressure it entails; having to work with an editor, when you've mostly been independent all this time, can be taxing, trying to make sure it fits necessary standards and what not, upgrading your work even though you've already given it all. (I wouldn't know though but I can always imagine.) ... or worse... loss of creative control? It's like having your child get mutilated and you have to do the trimming by yourself. (surely i could of put that in a better manner lol but you get the idea lmao). But still it doesn't answer the radio silence... or does it? Prepare your tinfoil lads.
What causes somebody to forget and turn away from someone he/she previously loved? The answer is simple, a BREAK UP!! (specially a nasty one). In this case, it's not a literal one but a metaphoric break up. Heck even the author's last tweet shades about things "breaking apart" see link: https://twitter.com/supermjbee/status/871362419313922048
You may say I'm stretching it, and that it's merely convenient but not exactly a satisfying explanation and you're right about that. But I'd take this all day over the next theory that we all have at the back of our heads...
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Theory #3 - "As art does, life so mirrors." - HpS heavily plays on the idea of "sudden disappearance" which made me very engaged and invested on the comic during the short time it was up. However it is not fun anymore when it happens irl. I've knocked on so many wood, praying for it not to be the case but deep down I know things as such are possible. From an arm injury causing her unable to perform at the level she previously did, to carpal tunnel syndrome, to nerve damage; none of these are fun. These cases corroborates to theory#2 so much too, in that such a fortuitous events may have forced her in the dark.
I don't even wanna go further with the other possibilities...
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Theory #4 - "It's just that good." - On a lighter note (though I myself considers this as a fringe theory) it is possible that the creator of the series simply just dropped it. Why? It could be that the creator got engaged or became part of a bigger project and is no longer able to work on HpS. It's a weak theory with the same symptoms as the first one but it's a "good end" and there are nights that I wish for this to simply be the case. Who knows maybe the spirit of HpS still lives on albeit on a different title. Mjbee's twitter says that she's a "drawer of things" and I believe once an artist will always be an artist. :)
When you actually think about it, this theory kinda makes sense. You produce something of quality, gain exposure and eventually newer, bigger opportunities will come knocking. It's just that good, the art doesn't need further mention and even with the art alone, it's already enough. But just about everything is amazing with HpS, the scene direction, dialogue, overall writing, story, even the layout is amazing. I still remember just how crazy hooked I was when I first read the prologue. And even if it's in spanish (fan sub upload, the last living remnant of HpS) I can feel every emotion in a scene and the cliffhangers are absolute bangers, in fact I've never seen a comic that got featured with the same or fewer amount of proper chapters. So yes, I wouldn't wonder if mjbee got involved into something else though it stings to think that we didn't get any official news buttttt the world doesn't revolve around me, as long as everything's fine I can be happy for her.
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Last one I promise, Theory #5 - "Get those tin foils back on." - Bear with me for a bit. It could be that mjbee isn't an individual, or she's not completely independent. It is possible that she's affiliated with an organization or is actually one. It may explain why HpS has to be abandoned on such an auspicious of a timing, maybe it has something to do with rights management. Maybe webtoons was only interested with the artist that did the art and didn't want to involve the rest so no understanding was reached. It sort of reminds of the case with "Your Favorite Martian" by Ray William Johnson for those familiar with it. Both share the same "abandonment" circumstances.
"Hahhh?? an organization??" you ask, well it's not that uncommon. I've seen other creators who produces inhuman amount of content with varying degrees of style, it can only mean it's a bunch of individuals sharing the same creator id to easily hit metrics for monetization, or idk lmao. (told you this is tin foil-y). This is not to downplay mjbee's talent or anything, somebody still has to actually do it, and I believe that the individual who makes and draws is actually mjbee. The one we interact with, it's just that there may be others involved behind the scenes.
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Anyway those are my theories, one may be true, or a mix, or all of them or none of them. We don't know perhaps we may never know.
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1. Who am I? - Well, I'm a fan of the series. For the longest time HpS was my favorite. I've been a fan since the teaser went up and I've been patiently waiting for any drop of news despite being years since the last nugget we got. I still check back from time to time, and it pains me to see that the amount of subscribers slowly drains away bit by bit, but I can't blame them. I just wish HpS won't be forgotten... So I carved this little corner here on reddit dedicated to fellow fans, to convene, discuss and share memories about the series. That's the gist of it...

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"That's not all there is to it, there's more right?" heh heh heh... Yep... FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS BOIS n GALS!!
I'd like to think I've inherited the will of Heartbeats per Second. What? What do I mean? Well hear my story.
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Sometime around 2018, just couldn't recall the date exactly probably Q2-Q3 of the year, I had a chance encounter. By this time it has already been more than a year since HpS last updated and I was starting to forget the series. I couldn't even remember the names of the characters anymore. An instructor in one of my class has this habit of incorporating references in the materials. The references ranges from pop culture, to anime; from mythologies to lovecraftian stuff. Some are easy to identify such as "Ackerman AOT Inc. has the following data related to it's 2018 statement of financial position" bla bla, that's clearly referring to mikasa ackerman from attack on titan. While others require a bit of digging. Well one day i decided to pay close attention to the said references, especially the ones I'm not familiar with. Oddly, names like "Mira" and "Tyke" showed up (separately), well the names didn't particularly rang a bell at that time but out of sheer curiosity I asked away where the references that I can't identify were from. "Tyke and Mira were from a discontinued project". Looking back now I would of killed myself for my stupidity, I never did recognize the names, ever not until recently! but I'm so glad I had the audacity at that time to ask for the manuscripts from the said "discontinued project". I wasn't really interested in it I was just trying to be chummy for extra marks lmao. Well ya I got em, but it wasn't til early 2019 that I discovered what i had. I checked back on HpS's page for news one day, nothing, so I went for the bootleg spanish fansub version, just to reminisce. And then I noticed, Tychus' name was often shortened as "Ty" or "Tyke". I was literally shaking... I compared the notes I had in me, and just about everything checks out. Is it the script of HpS? Not sure it's not a 1:1 copy but it's so close it couldn't be a mistake or coincidence. Well you can argue that it may be a fan-fic? and the parts related to the released portion were simply copied while the ones that aren't yet cannot be verified but it's too compelling to be so. Even the concept art for future events released on intstagram checks out!
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DISCLAIMER: I cannot verify the authenticity of the script or whether it is even related to HpS at all, it may or may not be the script of HpS. It may actually be just an elaborate fanfic but I feel like, something like this has to be shared among other readers who, like myself, fell in love with the series.
SIDE NOTE: I don't think my former instructor was mjbee, i am pretty positive about that. I do however, think that either my theory about HpS not being a one-man-show is correct, or they are simply related like friends or something IDK I wanna leave it at that. It is something I still haven't forgiven myself for not confirming.
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So yeah guys, here I am typing away on reddit despite not dropping a single comment on the series while it was ongoing (hey don't judge me)... I will post whatever related HpS content I can process via edit (does that work out? sorry new here) But for now I need some sleep.
EDIT: Hi reddit its been a long time, sorry i kinda forgot i made this post lol was just reminded when i checked the webtoon page for hps, anyway I have compiled my files related to Hps and as promised will share the processed bits
First off lets start with char bio as i believe these ones are official and are generally harmless to the overall story incase it does resurface again, and i feel like they are meant to be published soon anyway (unlike most of the bits i have which have already been reworked or dropped or drafts of plans, some bits still have author's remarks left intact in them)
CHARACTER BIO
Jack
Jack Tarver De Vera
Age 20
Jack is the resident bartender of The Verthandi, the hottest bar in town or so he claims. His uncle, who owns the joint, also entrusted Jack in overseeing the bar's whole operation despite his seemingly young age. He's good at what he does if that's just it, indicating that he may have years of experience under his belt but despite that he still lacks the necessary refinements in dealing with drunken customers; that's where Mia and Alex come in. That and the occasional 'inventory misappropriation' which he adamantly claims as 'just compensation' for the troubles he has to put up with.
He's rough around the edges, blunt and cynical at times (most of the time); a punk through and through. Good thing he can take in as much spew as he can dole out or he'd be insufferable. Well, Alex takes full advantage of this fact, capitalizing every opportunity to rub, technically, her 'boss' the wrong way. Maybe for stress relief? Maybe to get even at his punkish demeanor? Or maybe, entirely something else...
Jack may have had a tough childhood; orphaned at a young age, raised by just his uncle who's not getting any younger, it is even hinted that he never got any formal schooling, but despite all these he got to where he wants to be. Friends by his sides, top shelf spirits behind, and the rowdy shenanigans of drunks and merrymakers in the forefront.
Trivia: "In vino, veritas" Jack usually isn't honest with himself, but if you can outlast him in a drinking session he might just spill his guts out, sometimes literally.
Mia
Mirabelle Corlin (assumes mother's maiden last name)
Age 20
Mia was raised by her mother without knowing much about her father, she grew up to live a prudent life because of this. She's a model student with great grades during her time in school and was often the class representative. A kind hearted soft spoken girl by nature, she often keeps to herself, leading others to assume she's unfriendly; due to this she never had much friends.
Ever since her mother moved out with her partner, Mia lived alone with her pet cat, Milky. She works at a local bar nearby as a waitress along with her long time bestbud from way back, Alex.
Mia may appear timid on the outside but she's cunning and sharp. Although she's a bit sentimental, she never lacks hope and often looks forward to what tomorrow brings.
Trivia: Mia has an allergy with crustaceans, poor girl can never completely enjoy a lobster. She also dreams of becoming a vet! :3 soft spot for kitties!!
Tychus
Tychus Fortuna
Age 21
There's not much to say about Tychus, much of his info is unknown. He is presumed to be from a foreign land judging from his peculiar last name, when asked where specifically he just blurts out a different place every single time. Rumor has it that he has a penchant for gambling, sightings of him in gambling dens and casinos aren't unheard of but when asked about it he adamantly denies though.
A wisecracking charmer, it's hard to think he's the type to be secretive, yet he is. He carries himself with staunch composure even under duress. He likes avoiding attention and often seems uninterested about most things.
Trivia: His favorite sport is pro wrestling but it's fake so he settled for boxing. Also, he sleeps alot and just about anywhere you'd think he lived on the streets one point in his life.
Alex
Alexis Jean Ridley
Age 20
Alex, as she is fondly referred to by her friends, was born in the countryside by a loving couple. Due to the laid back environment she grew up in, Alex developed to be a congenial and gregarious girl, the kind that you'd expect to be friends with everybody. A spark plug of energy, Alex has always been enthusiastic with just about anything as long as she deems it fun. Well, studying is out of the question but it doesn't take much for her to consider a thing fun. Don't let her jolly nature and small stature fool you, she's way more athletic than she appears. In fact it was due to an athletic scholarship that she was able to attend high school in the city, where she met one of her long time friends, Mia.
Her spunky upbeat attitude coupled with her sporty nature may make it seem like she's a tomboy but truth is, she's a romantic that longs for love's first embrace. And so when the time came where athletics no longer proved beneficial, she dropped track altogether, vowed to take better care of herself and be more feminine. Love may just be around the corner after all.
Currently, she works at a local bar with her friend, Mia, since the post doesn't require her to be up early in the morning. Happily living day by day with not much worries or plans, taking life one step at a time with a smile.
Trivia: She claims to be one of the "cool kids" back in high school as she was the star of the track team, even making it as far as the regionals; her record for 100m dash is at 12.49 sec!! Bonus Trivia: She easily gets carried away by sappy romance flick.
EDIT2: METASTUFF - the following entry is my own inference and take regarding the original plan for the overall flow of HPS -
HPS seems to have been originally intended to be told in an achronological manner through the eyes of different perspectives. An ambitious and truly unique way of story telling, had it been the case I think I can say that we might have been robbed of a potential masterpiece considering the fate HPS has ultimately faced. (though there were already signs indicating that the idea for the narrative structure was dropped midway through)
Anyway based on an old printout regarding its skeletal and general flow HpS was planned to have 2 major spheres of events, i say spheres since it isnt exactly gonna be told in a chronological order especially events relating to the past; pre time jump. Yr2014. The other sphere being the then present yr2016. The first arc is told through the eyes of mia and next perspective would be alex's. Tyhus and another character were originally planned to have aswell. It was also planned to have quasi independent side stories tht are presented regardless of the chapter that preceded it, and are intended to flesh out the main story further, one such example is the "Valentines Special" originally intended to be published on feb 2017 i suppose (i will upload the storyboard writeup for it later on) and on top of that, a "SideB" of it. (sadly no write up of it exists just mere plans) Side B is used by the author to denote the same event under Tychus' eyes. The author explains it as "SideA=result SideB=how". After understanding what i can from the mess of scripts it was made apparent to me why the need for such thing, some readers have correctly guessed why so way before. The author described the past sphere as a "whimsical school romance with a bang at the end madoka style" if you would read it from chronological start to end. While the present sphere is like "clannad minus the harem" according to what seems to be a pitch summary.
Btw some few facts worth sharing:
Heartbeats per Second's original working title was called Linking Hearts
And it was suppose to be a visual novel but was transformed into a webcomic, this explains Mia's blank personality abit as pointed out by some comments early on the series
This is it for now I'll see you guys again. Next up Recap!
​
EDIT3: RECAP (WARNING!!! EXTREMELY LONGGG!!!)
I'll post the storyboard script (no drawings) of the episodes from here on out, i believe these are the final text output before everything gets drawn and dialogue gets put into speech bubbles. Things in brackets [ ] are i think panels of illustrations, which the author uses as guides when actually illustrating the webtoon. I'll also post a link to the fansub version for the starting episodes so you can compare. Also note that the written dialogue is not 1:1 from what was released, I think some revisions are still done during actual writing down of dialogue inside speech bubbles. Here goes...
​
Prologue - https://tmofans.com/viewe5af4e62c0159f/cascade
Time... They say time is like a flowing river... And we are merely flotsams at the mercy of its current.
[environment shot: raining,leaf floating on a rain stream by the curb: closeup and sidepanel: profile face of heroine in the past wearing uniform, apply bloom effect or sumthng to indicate dreaminess]
At times it would rage on like a coursing rapids; stopping for no one despite your pleas...
[wideshot of heroine walking along on the street holding her umbrella and bag, sidepanel: checking her phone for the time 4:48pm july 25 2014 1new message unopened]
And sometimes it feels like a tranquil stream, cradling you gently as you weave through its meandering banks...
[close up heroine admiring the scene]
I wonder, can time hear me? If i cried hard enough would the droplets of tears make a ripple?
[full body shot wind blowing trees swaying abit and leaves swirling in the air heroine looks wondering]
Sadly all i can ever do is float along with it lest i drown in its depths, time is a cruel mistress it is unforgiving as it is all powerful...
[back focus on the leaf along the ditch floating downstream]
I wish time could stop for a little bit, i wish it can let me drift around in circles on a quiet pond, i wanna relish those fleeting moments filled with butterflies a lil bit longer...
[obvious flashback scene: guy presenting girl necklace] [obvious flashback scene some more: late night hugging by the park under a streetlight with fireflies] [obvious flashback scene: walk together shoulder to shoulder, guy holds umbrelle, girl fully covered guy has his outer shoulder getting wet]
[focus on puddle with leaf by the curb]
[back shot of heroine by the crossing about to step forward, light turns green, construction site across it,, side panels: pitterpatter]
[pitter patter] [car] [scaffolding]
[ stomping on the puddle, splash]
[shoutout: Mia!!! Full body matrix shot: mia turning back water splashes and rain drops frozen suspended in air, leaf fluttering by them, heroine surprised look, necklace swings along, back of hero shown reaching out]
[focus on girl mouth: smiling] [saying: tychus] [one more panel focusing on her necklace being clutched by her]
[car goes by blurred]
[whiteout]
[big title with fancy font: linking hearts]
That was the last day i saw him... Since that day i felt like swimming against the current, maybe if i stood still he'd come rushing back just like before.
[repeat matrix shot minus shoutout and change her expression from surprised to longing, outfit changes too from uniform to server less bloom now we cn take off the dreamlike filter]
[same focus on girl mouth too: but this time she's sad] [speech bubble:tychus] [same same still clutching on the necklace]
Every time i chance upon that place i always find myself looking back to the past... Its an awful habit i know and im just making it hard for myself but i'm just a slave subject to the whims of my heart...
[crestfallen look back shot of heroine by the same crossing no more scaffolding, side panel: focus on her pony-ed hair, side panel: checking phone 4:50pm july 29 2016]
Ive always known it was too much to ask... Sigh...
[black]
[traffic light: green]
Well time to keep moving...
[ focus: leaf on a puddle] [ wind blows, leaf flies]
[zoom out shot panning to the sky, sunny, leaves flying by carried by wind, below small figure of heroine, crossing the street, moderately densed population, abit busy environment]
Prologue end huffhuff
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Episode 1 - "I still remember..." (on the official release ep1 is titled "Nothing but Memories")
https://tmofans.com/viewe5af4e62d1ee6a/cascade
​
Scene1
[chime clings as the back door opens]
[setting: staff room]
[mia enters]
Alexis: hi hi mia-mi! So sorry i had to ask you to come despite your off, it's gonna be a busy friday night so we gonna be short on hands not to mention our 2 part timers are coming in late so ...
[mia interrupts]
Mia: hushh it's okay alex! of course i'd come i work here after all besides i cant say no to you, hey that's what friends are for :)
Alexis: [stoked] waiii yaayy, you're a life saver, my best bud <3 [glomps]
[jack interjects]
Jack: [cynical] everyone's your best bud alex, but you know if everyone is your best friend then no one is wahaha
Alexis: [pouting] muhh is it like that? [proud] well everyone's my best bud here, uncle rus is my best bud, big rob too even our cook, i like everyone except you jack-o wacko :P
Jack: whatttttt?
[everyone shared a laugh]
[mia monologue on her laughing panel] "this is where im at now, it's been 2 years since that fateful day. I'm holding up pretty well, still waiting, hoping... I wonder how have you been?"
[mia clutches her pendant shown underneath her clothes]
[a flash of tychus full smile and chuckling hand out stretched as if asking to be held]
[black out] [voice: Mia...]
[setting back to staff room]
Alexis: [unamused] mia... Oi mia... Knock knock you there? *poke* *poke*
Mia: [apologetic] oh sorry i kinda zoned out ahaha *light chuckle*
Alexis: ehhh what have you been zoning out for? Mah anyway come help me log the purchases they arrived a little while ago quick before you-know-who chugs em
Mia:*nods*
Jack: [called out from the bar] hey!!! It wasnt me i swear!
-------------
Scene2
[setting: back alley]
[mia and alex checking and logging cases and kegs of beer]
[mia logging stuff on a journal]
Mia: [blank look zoning out] that's one and hmmm 2 from yesterday and this should be for...
[alexis interrupts]
Alexis:[surprised] wait wait! Those were already accounted for... Since yesterday... By you... [dumbfounded]
Mia: [flustered] oh my god im sorry *sigh*
[mia bites lip out of frustration, monologue "what is wrong with me"]
["somehow i still, up to now, can't take you out of my mind"]
Alexis: [worried] hmmm don't worry about it, uhmm let me take care of that one, you can just start with the kegs, i'll go ask big rob to sort this lot out
Mia: [down casted] thanks alot, i seem to be out of it *sigh*
[switches places]
Alexis: [sad worried look]
[mia bends down to check a keg and her pendant slips out of her blouse]
[pendant dangles]
[alexis wide eyed look, staring at the pendant]
Alexis: [realizes] [saddened] hey mia, what really happened that day?
Mia: [tight lipped] [a faint smile] [focus only up to her nose and lips down as she holds a fist near her chest] that day... He was strange that day...
-------------
Scene 3
[setting past street crossing/flashback]
[raining]

[money shot: tychus calling out for mia as she turns around on the street or just recycle the panel from prologue]
[tychus closes in on mia] [panels showing their expressions tychus relieved and mia eager]
[moneyshot tychus took her by the hand and around her waist pulls her close and shared a passionate kiss]
Mia: [surprised] hey whats gotten into you? [blushes]
[tychus shakes his head gently eyes closed almost in tears]
[tychus hugged her tight]
Tychus: [thankful] im just happy to see you well in my arms
Tychus: [determined] i just don't want to spend another second without you anymore
Mia:[bewildered] but it has only been an hour since
[tychus tightened his grip lowered his head and a drop of tear fell along with the raindrops]
[tychus pained expression]
Mia: [softened look] [strokes his face] it's ok i'm here [hugged back]
[wide shot with lots of negative space for narration, zoomed out 2 of em hugging it out while raining]
Narration: i didnt know what's going on, he acted strange, desperate, and almost as if worn out like a soldier who's just been to war. He was a bit forceful, but i felt like... For the first time... I felt like i've finally connected to him, past beyond his shell...
He's usually always composed and collected, cool and elegant, it's actually eerily surreal... But at that moment... He looked vulnerable, first time i saw him like that. First time he felt like... a human.
[expression focus on mia as she smiles]
​
Continued here - https://www.reddit.com/LINEwebtoon/comments/djerss/heartbeats_remembered_recap_continued/

THE TIN REBELLION

(Little backstory to this events... So, hundreds of years ago an iron blade was constructed from a meteorite as seen in Iron Crown by a smith called Atch. It was given to the Izalo¹ of Arthoza as a gift, as it was said to possess the spirit of Katoz Thoza himself (legendary hero of the Murtaviran War^2). Anyhow, a man called Latuhk independently stumbled upon some bizarre looking obsidian, his son, Yelir, worked for Atch and they tried melting the material to make crockery (as one can do with obsidian^3). With a few more bellows they managed to smelt the ore.
Atch worked the material to remove slag and found it resemble the Tuarajluri⁴ that he had used to construct the blade of Katoz (the meteorite sword). They construct farming tools for the townsfolk nearby and create a few trinkets which elicit Kwelez's (current Izalo of Arthoza) attention. He comes about, shoots the shit, sends Yelir off into the hills to look for more of the ore. Yelir is betrayed and murdered as soon as they find some. Soldiers accompanying him return to the ‘Iron Town’ and butcher the inhabitants, including Atch, in Tuarajluri, part 1.
So, here we are now, the Tin Rebellion.)

Why?

Historians in our real world can never be 100% sure of the intricacies of conflict that occurred during these early dates, but thankfully on Dawn we can provide first hand accounts of the REAL CAUSES OF THE CONFLICT from the minds of the people there. In this conflict, I will describe the lead up and the consequent loss of life from the side of the people of Chato.
First and foremost, the distance between Chato (the largest portcity on the Ocean) and Arthoza (largest port city of the inland lake) is in excess of 1000km, which even by today's standards is a VERY LONG WAY. Although the time of the journey can be shortened by the use of camels and donkeys, it is still a trek very few like to walk. As such, it is rare to see any cultural exchange between the cities.
Out of convenience, Chato is granted much more autonomy than other Tekatan cities within reach of Arthoza. Many there in the south view the Mandar Federation and their ilk as brothers, closer to them than the ignorant Arthozans across the Turyato mountains ever were. It was more common to find Chato fishermen around the city of Bel-Dol than it was to see one in the northern peninsula.
Cultural identities developed separately, which lead to tensions between the two cities of Arthoza and Chato. Upon Kwelez's development of the theory of Zara, the (in the southerner's opinion) made-up god of chance who gave little more than a half-hearted excuse to gamble, many bordering the Kiri feared its influence (especially the Ba-Lei priests). The Southerners became disturbed by its plague-like spread over the northern cities, fearing that it would drift to Chato and shut down their temples, or worse, enforce their views on the people there.

1115BC

The Southerner's worst fears were realised. Zara Missionaries visited the city of Chato and built an illustrious casino-churchhouse, complete with baths and luxuries unheard of by the common man at the time. These were dens of grace and misinformation, but what d'ya know, some of the southerners ate it up. They filled the casinos day and night. Zara was increasingly becoming the god of the lower class, this heathen drivel from the mind of a maniac filling the minds of the common people.
This was only the start of the conflicts, and only one cause of the subsequent war.
What worried the Ba-Lei priests so much is the thought that their grip on Chato, their Ku-Ayu, Unzi and Saal being replaced by a singular all knowing deity of chance and disappearing to the wind. They despised the casinos and decadence, wishing the goods people bet in their would go to fill their collection plates rather than those of the casino, and so devised a plan with people of another walk of life entirely.
Iron. Iron had been spreading through Tekata for years, primarily to the northern cities where the forges were located. *No one knew how it made8, how it was smelted from the ore. Kwelez had ensured that the only one to know the full story of its composition was himself in a move that had secured him as the richest man in Tekata. He had created a Pozzolana Palace, only accessible by a single gleaming pathway which stood like a glowing beacon on the still blue waters of the Iz.
He shared this home of his with the cult of Zara, followers of his book which interpreted his works and decided how best to allocate and outfit Thuan (Tekazazu/warrior city to the East of Arthoza) troops to best spread the message. With his monopoly on iron, Kwelez was free to outfit his best with the best. Whilst they still wielded bronze machetes for their hardness, the more luxurious laminar armour and ukalthela could now be donned by all Tekazazu soldiers whereas before the bronze would be too expensive. With the advent of iron, the demand for tin in the north had dropped to practically nil.
Now, the Tekata possessed no tin. Ask yourself, why is Chato free to operate so autonomously, why are they so spiritually close to the Zefarri? How can they afford to live so far away from the Iz? The answer is as simple as could be. Zefarri sent tin to them, and the southerners sent tin North. If the conflict could be summed up in a word, it'd be that. Tin. When the demand for tin disappeared, the affluent high class merchants of the south were left with nothing. Their business, the businesses of their families had crumbled like dust in their hands, and they saw only one course of action when the Ba-Lei priests visited them. With their vanishing fortunes they would outfit a rebellion.
The first act of violence against the Zara worshippers was the razing of one of the more affluent casinos in Chato by a deranged individual with no affiliation to either Ba-Lei or the Zefarri, with little more on his mind than the miraculous power of fire to consume all it touched. He was never caught, but as soon as Kwelez received word from the south he could barely contain his outrage. With the cult of Zara following his every emotion and keen to please, they suggested sending a Zikwuh (~120 troops) to punish the Ba-Lei worshippers for their crime. In the heat of his anger he felt nothing more than hatred for the southerners. He sent the soldiers down to Chato, complete with missionaries and iron to bribe officials. The events that followed would lead to a conflict of unprecedented scale.

1114BC

Kwelez's anger didn't subside over the years. Some tin traders came north, probing the hills for the source of the iron. They never made it very far. On the suggestion of one of the high ranking Zara cult members, Kwelez ordered every Ba-Lei worshipper to be marked. For many in the south, this was the last straw. A mark, in Tekatan tradition, is a painful incision on the chest made to scar by the addition of quicklime. It is used to indicate previous criminal activity- those found committing crimes with one again are made Lizya^5. Those richer men began their preparations for war. They would not be ruled by the Izalo of Arthoza any more.

1112BC

An uneasy peace that had settled on the city of Chato, now occupied by a small force of half a Zikwuh (Kwelez foolishly thinking the tensions had vanished) was shattered on a strange day in the dry season. A soldier had emerged drunkenly from one of the Aratazara, the chance houses which Zara worshippers frequented. His mind was clouded by alcohol, but his hand was steady as he cut a young Ba-Lei worshipper in two. The crowded canals around him erupted with screams as he entered a Lei temple, slaughtering sixteen worshippers in what came to be known by the southerners as 'Okuhzara', Zara's truth, perhaps one of the most frequently recorded days in Tekatan history for its far reaching consequences. The south had had enough.

1111BC

Ba-Lei priest stirred up dissent. Tin traders frittered their fortunes on weapons and armour, thinking this not to be a holy battle but one for their very livelihoods. They would find the source of the iron and control it in much the same way Kwelez had. The common man in the city of Chato made a choice; did he stand for the glory of his city, his trade and his religion? Or did he let the north take the independence they held so dearly? The former was preferred.
The half Zikwuh was overrun by thousands of worshippers. Their bodies were strung up and dotted around the mountains as a gratuitous 'fuck you' to the Arthozans. As they went, they accumulated Southerners from all over Kiri until their ranks bordered 4000 men, mostly ill equipped but extremely angry. They would not be mistreated any longer.
The design of their banners was relayed to Kwelez in Arthoza, who could barely hide his disbelief. A war, during his rule. How would history remember him? His fate for the future would be decided in this war.
^1: Town ruler, Izalo of Arthoza is effectively ruler of Tekata.
^2: Here
^3: Little image here
^4: Star metal.
^5: As seen here, ritual removal of senses as punishment

Hey chummers, this is the special that I told you about, a few extra pieces of news that showed up on my feed, as well as a special the feeds off an article from Monday, enjoy chummers

• SysOP

The H-Net News logo flashes across an outstretched UK banner and a fife and drums are heard playing in the background.
The camera pans in on an exceptionally attractive elf with surprisingly bad teeth who smiles to the camera and gives her long brown hair a small shake. She speaks with a charming british accent
“Thank you, H-Net Worldwide, I’m Elizabeth Moore with H-Net UK, here to give you the news from across the pond.”
“We’ve got three short pieces for you today, mostly involving Wales. The country came under scrutiny on a national scale when security measures along a dangerous mountain path leading to fabled Cadair Idris were tampered with, allowing the release of Awakened wolves into populated areas, resulting in three deaths and many more injuries. Local LEOs arrived on the scene within minutes of the reports, and managed to repel the beasts.”
The image of a heavily furred wolf appears on the screen, its shoulder reaching nearly mid-torso of the human male next to it for scale. Its back is covered in spiked scales which protrude slightly from underneath its fur, and a pale violet light seems to emanate from its eyes and in constantly changing patterns underneath its fur. Its two upper fangs seem to be roughly the size of a human hand.
“Though this is sad news, and our condolences go out to the families of those affected by the beast’s assault, the United Kingdom would like to remind both her citizens and the world that the country is taking all the safety precautions it can, as evidenced by the arrest of three unnamed terrorists from Edinburgh Airport by investigators from Scotland Yard. The prisoners were transported to an unnamed facility in Scotland for processing, and the Yard informs us they have since been handled. Scotland Yard declined to reveal the identities of those arrested, allegedly for the prisoners’ own safety.”
An image from Edinburgh Airport pops up, showing four Scottish police in full body armor and assault rifles flanking a group of three blurred out metahumans. A trio of men wearing the classic dusters of Scotland Yard, the trio composed two humans and an ork, seem to be in deep, agitated, conversation. Though the three prisoners are blurred out, you manage to make out what appears to be the edge of a kilt on one, the top of a cowboy hat from the middle one, and a small Japanese flag protruding from hair of the last prisoner.
“The United Kingdom would also like to remind the world of some of the beautiful locations to visit, such as the venerated Cadair Idris in Wales. Currently, access is restricted until the repairs are complete, but reports of higher than average mana saturation in the area have acted as a draw for the magically inclined in the past, and for any true outdoorsman, the hike and views are their own reward. Of course, there are those who have undertaken the mythical challenge of sleeping on the slope in hopes of awakening the greatest of bards, most notably Edward Treffington, whose latest single has broken records across the UK. The myth states that if you do not awake filled with bardic inspiration you will soon go insane. Given that Treffington was recently heard arguing with himself after a performance in London last week, it's possible both halves of the myth are true.”
A breathtaking view of the Welsh countryside expands before you; to the right, a high plateau with a lake can be seen, though no path appears to exist leading to it; to the left, the mountainside gradually blends with a large forest.
“Well folks, that’s all we have time for tonight, but from across the pond, I’m Elizabeth Moore. Tune in next week for more news.”
Author: eljakob737 Source: The Initiation of Radge, Shizuka, and Poncho
[Shadow Broker]>>>: Oi, any of you fraggers getting tangled up in the mafia? Yeah? Thats what I thought. You’re gonna want to listen to this commcall I intercepted.
Voice 1 (deepish, rich Italian accent) : “So the reason I’m calling, you fottuto idiota, is because somehow those Ciarnello bastardos got ahold of the data YOU TWO were supposed to be protecting and then selling, OR DID YOU FORGET THAT PART?”
Voice 2 (nasaly, slight traces of accent) : “Boss, I’m sorry, I honestly don’t know what happened. Everything was going according to plan. My guy Maximillian made the drop just like we talked about, the judge’s aide bet everything, lost it, and then won it all back, including the chip with the data. Nathan, this all went down exactly like this, yeah?”
Nathan (no trace of italian accent) : “Don, I swear to you on my grandmother’s grave, that’s exactly what happened. Like my father before me, the Benellis have always been your men, and the Casino Americana has always kept a table open for you.”
Don: “Then WHY, my allegedly loyal men, did my deal with Hogan fall through, on account of the PICTURES OF HIM WITH BUNRAKU HAVING DISAPPEARED?! Giovanni, I expected more from you. And Nathan, you promised me this plan was foolproof. Now I’ve got a city judge gunning for me, AND one of my favorite fronts is under investigation by the thecavilieri cazzo, Knight Errant! Pezzo di merda, what am I going to do? Gio, Nathan, you better pray you don’t wake up with a horse head in your bed. Odds are the Ciarnellos are gonna try and extort the judge just like we did, so you know what? You two? You’re on damage control. Until I give a direct order otherwise.”
[Shadow Broker]>>>: So, if any of you didn’t pick up on it, thats the DON of the fraggin GIANELLI FAMIGLIA. And it seems some of you cheery do-gooders have managed to piss him off. Hope the money was worth it. How do I know it was some of you? Please. As if the Ciarnellos have the wherewithal to pull something this quiet off.
That bit about the judge, though, that’s golden. These politicians like to pretend they’re the heroes of Seattle. Heh. You know what a hero is, right? Someone who gets everyone else killed. Anyway, the Gianelli’s are probably gonna look to retaliate, hope you covered your tracks if you were part of the team that did this. Watch your backs, chummers.
Author: eljakob737
Source: Twenty-One to Win
-Removing the copyright information from pictures of animals and uploading them to the matrix. The perpetrators are still at large. Back to you, Chet.
The Horizon Network News logo flashes across as the screen as the scene transitions to an implausibly milquetoast, besuited man sitting at a large, polished desk.
Thanks, Rebecca. If you have any information regarding this flagrant violation of intellectual property law, please contact us at the matrix address on your screen.
The camera angle jumps to show a different view of the studio. Chet’s gaze shifts with it and he flashes a corp-approved set of pearly whites, putting on his most gregarious smile for this next, assuredly hilarious bit of news.
Now on to our next segment. Regular viewers have been following along with our ongoing expose of Amadeus Jones’, the disastrous inaugural run of his “retro-coaster,” and the mysterious figure that stepped in to save the day. According to eyewitness reports there may be more to this strange tale. Here’s Bobby Vetter with more on “Between the Cracks.”
The image of Chet’s smiling face freezes and a series of cracks and fractures appears on the screen, forming the unfortunate words “Between the Cracks.” The camera zooms into one of the larger gaps in the logo and we find ourselves staring at a wiry man with short brown hair and a dramatically cocked eyebrow. He is wearing a black, collared shirt, red tie, and grey, buttoned vest.
Good evening, Seattle! I’m Bobby Vetter and welcome to Between the Cracks! where we cover the weird the forgotten and the downright implausible side of your local news!
Tonight’s story is a strange new wrinkle in the unfolding tale of Mr. Jones and the local “hero” some are calling Wonder Mint!
I’m sure you all know the story by now. Mr. Jones built an authentic retro-style roller coaster. Complete down to the lack of modern safety innovations. Due to shoddy welding, the tracks collapsed out from under the coaster on its first run. Just before the helpless passengers got a one-way ticket to ++Afterlife unavailable. User metrics corrupt.++, a mysterious figure in the crowd caught them with what has been described as “absurdly” powerful magic.
Since then, we’ve heard allegations that Mr. Jones hired incompetent engineers, bribed inspectors to sidestep construction codes and safety standards, and even that he planned the whole thing as some kind of publicity stunt gone wrong!
But what if there was more to the story, and to the mysterious woman who saved the passengers? According to eyewitness reports, just after they felt the surge of magic that saved the coaster, numerous electronic devices in the area began to malfunction. This included any cameras that would otherwise have captured an image of the mysterious, green-clad heroine who rapidly fled the scene.
Coincidence, conspiracy, or something... Else? To get to the bottom of this mystery, we went out and talked to several witnesses who were there to see the strange sequence of events unfold that day.
The screen goes black and we transition to the modest interior of a small, suburban household. An exhausted human woman with blonde hair, a pale complexion and a no-nonsense pants suit sits on a couch with three fidgeting, barely compliant children dressed in their Sunday best. The text superimposed at the bottom of the screen reads "Angie Buttersmith, Realtor, mother of three and witness to the BIZARRE!
Bobby Vetter: You saw the coaster collapse?
Angie Buttersmith: Um... Yeah. We were there for Billy's birthday. We were in line to get on the next run, so we had a pretty good view of it. Uh... Yeah.
BV: Go on...
AB: Uh... Right. So when it fell it looked like it was going to hit us, and I heard someone behind us shouting to look out. I was starting to grab the two little ones when I felt something... Really weird.
The Middle Child: It tingled!
AB: Yeah... Something like that. Anyway, I grabbed them and we started to run, and I was... Uh maybe panicking a little bit. A piece of the track hit Chester.
The camera zooms in on the forehead of the eldest child, where a large blue band-aid is affixed.
AB: But I guess I expected, uh ... I looked up after we got a bit away from it and saw the cart just, sort of floating. It was... Yeah, it just sort of slowly... drifted down after that.
BV: Did you notice anything else... Unusual?
AB: Uh, yeah. The security guards all Just sort of fell over... And my eye - I have a cyber eye. It, uhh started looping footage from when I was looking up at the coaster.
BV: Fascinating. And you saw who did all this?
The Youngest: Wonder Mint!
AB: Sort of... I mean, I saw her, but she just looked like another person running away. I didn't really put it together until I saw the... Interview on the news with the park's, uh, mage. With his whole police sketch and all that.
A graphic of the sketch appears, showing a beautiful woman in her mid-twenties. She has mint-green hair, emerald eyes, and sharp facial features. She is wearing a calm, confident expression.
BV: If you saw her again do you think you'd recognize her?
AB: Uh, I-
Chester: She was so pretty!
The Middle Child: She had a cape and everything!
The children mindlessly gush about Wonder Mint for a while as Angie attempts to reign them in. There is a cut in the footage, and Angie is on the couch by herself.
BV: What would you say to her if she were here right now?
AB: I... Uh I mean, I'd thank her. She saved us. I don't care if she's a mage or a... Technomancer... Or some other thing. If it weren't for her me and my kids might not be here... I'd say that's what really matters.
The scene transitions back into the studio, where Bobby awaits with steepled fingers.
Folksy, down-to-earth wisdom that was echoed by nearly everyone we spoke to. No matter their opinion if the mystery woman, though, everyone wanted to know the same two things. Who she is... And what she is. To answer one of these questions, I spoke with the head of Awakened Studies at the University of Washington, Dr. Berry Mandelbrot.
The scene fades and transitions once again. This time we find ourselves in a well-furnished office, facing across an oaken, antique-looking desk at a portly man with grey hair a fantastic moustache, and wrinkles for days. Behind him is a bookshelf full of various, apparently ancient grimoires, magic-looking knick-knacks, and a coffee mug full of wands.
Dr. Mandelbrot: I'm sorry... Could you repeat the question?
BV: Is it possible... That Wonder Mint is both a technomancer and a magician? A techno-magician if you wi-
DM: No.
BV: ... Okay. But if it were possible-
DM: It's not.
BV: ... So it's fair to say that you're skeptical. How do you explain what she did at the coaster?
DM: She cast a powerful levitation spell, and managed to mask her astral signature from the park's security spirits. There is no doubt that - whoever she is - she's a powerful magician. Also, likely formally trained, but that's just my speculation.
As far as all the glitches go, though. If I had to guess, I'd say she probably had a cyberdeck in her coat or something.
BV:
We cut back to Barry in the studio.
So there you have it. Dr. Mandelbrot seems convinced... But then so do the people on the street. Is Wonder Mint a techno-magician, as the evidence suggests? Is she a charlatan as the good doctor seems to believe? Is she a dangerous, unregistered awakened... Or a noble hero of the people?
You decide! Vote in our poll online at the following matrix address. Don't forget to stay vigilant, and never let the truth fall between the cracks!
That's all from me! Back to you, Chet.
Author: So_Useless
Source: Mr. Jones' Wild Ride
Joining>>>: UnderNET: Underground Forums
Accessing Topic: re- Recent Murders.
Original Post: Hey, so there’ve been a lot of murders down here, chummers. Make sure that you travel in groups, because most of the murders have been people who’ve been walking alone. Most recent one was a few days ago. And from what we know, there’ve been a lot of murders. Just make sure that you keep together. You’re always safer in groups than just by yourself. The Skraacha can’t be everywhere, and it’s always a good idea to make the Underground just a little bit safer. - Posted by [Sledge, Moderator]
Recent Posts>>>

Shit, she’s dead. My niece is dead. She was only 14, and was on her way from taking classes. Murdered, a bullet in her head, and some fragged up scratches on her body. She was my niece. What am I gonna tell her mother? She gets off tonight at midnight. - Posted by [Kurling] Damn man, you get my feels. I had a cousin die to whoever’s doing this the night before. He was murdered the same way, fraggin’ bullet to the head and scratches. Betcha ten nuyen it’s a breeder, getting his jollies off by killin orks in the Underground. No reprecussions, no worries ‘cause he can get out easy. Underground members, unite! - [VoiceofSauron] Doubt it. My brother was melted in acid, none of his implants anywhere near his body. Whoever did that was a sick and twisted fuck, but they would have attracted attention doing it down here if they’d been human. Might be a serial killer. Someone hiding out in the underground, making sure that they aren’t tracked down by the cops above-ground by picking off us SINless down here. - [HoundHorn] They might be a rival gang, trying to make us all not like the Skraacha. I hurd that the Skraacha was too busy dealing with another gang trying to move in on their Purp district turf. They, uh, might be decidin’ to go after the real threat instead of trying to track down whoever did it. - [Gangrel] Doubt it. Skraacha don’t want to deal with it ‘cause they get to charge more for protection. More fear means better protection racket. I’m already paying an arm and a leg for their prices - Anon Whoever Anon is, they’re stupid for posting that in a public forum. Skraacha gonna get’cha. - [Wiggles] So, uh, I don’t know if any of you fine folks on the forums here have heard, but I, uh, hired some outside help to deal with whoever, or whatever, was attacking good people down here. I got in touch with some good folk after [Kurling]’s niece got jumped this morning, and, well, they took care of what was preying on good people. If any of you want to see what did it, I’ve got the head of it here. ::head.png:: -[Sledge, Moderator, OP] Holy shit [Sledge], what is that thing? Is that a vampire head? Whoever took that thing out, they’ve gotta be hot-drek, ‘cause from what I’ve heard, vamps ain’t no pushover. -[HoundHorn] Shopped image. Look at the teeth, it’s not even a good job. [Sledge], quit making us believe that you have access to a group of scaaaaaary people, it’s getting really really old. -[LaterSin] 

Not a shopped image. Vamp teeth are actually like that. I almost got jumped by one down here a few years back, damn thing almost broke my neck trying to drain me dry. Fortunately, it must have been a young one, ‘cause the Skraacha heard the scuffle and filled it full of bullets. Rose up twice before one of the Skraacha put an improv stake in its heart. -[FlamerFan]
Sorry [HoundHorn], can’t go too much into detail ‘bout who killed it over the ‘trix. Never know who might be listenin’, and I know for sure that the Ork who helped out doesn’t want to get fingered by the authorities on the surface. If you want, I can tell you who helped out at the next ORC meeting down here. And [LaterSin], you don’t need to believe me. I’ve got the community’s back, even if they think they don’t need it. -[Sledge, Moderator, OP]
( Source These Needful Things, Author: KaneHorus )
<A male elf appears on the trid screen. He looks to be in his late 30s, his silver hair slicked back and groomed in the latest of executive hairstyles, He’s wearing a pale blue business jacket, and underneath it is a light tone grey vest atop a white dress shirt with a pastel yellow tie elegantly adorned around the shirt’s collar. He is sitting behind a desk with the Horizon Logo proudly displayed on it. He clears his throat, takes a drink from the glass of water that is to the right of him, a somber look appears on his face and he begins to speak>
Hello Citizens of Seattle, my name is Eli Menoissimer Senior Executive of Media Affairs here at Horizon. I am here before you because of an incident involving an affiliate trideo news channel which broadcasted an inaccurate news report to the public and in doing so cast a negative light on those mentioned.
First off I wish to issue an apology to those mentioned in the report. I want to make clear that there was no maliciousness or intent on doing harm when the report was released. Unfortunately it was an error of misunderstanding between the reporter and their sources and you have my assurance that this will not happen again.
I want to make it very clear that Horizon’s News Media division strives for excellence in regards to our news reports, and in doing so it’s a constant demand on all our employees. We want it so that any news reports that is released by Horizon and her affiliates are as factual, fair, and unbiased as possible. Unfortunately the report in question that was released failed to meet these standards and resulted in a negative perception for all those involved. Again I apologize for this.
Rest assured that those involved have learned a valuable lesson from this. That having the attention of the general public is a great burden to bear and a responsibility not to take lightly. That news has to be forged with facts, truths, and an accurate account of the events and anything less than that is nothing more than sensationalist propaganda and hearsay. I also want to let those mentioned in the inaccurate report know that the report in question has been retracted, and that the correct information has been released and all inaccuracies have been amended by the proper facts. We know that the report mentioned the ACHE as the location of the incident in question and this is highly inaccurate. In reality the incident took place in a Renraku Archology outside of Seattle.
I thank you citizens of Seattle for allowing me to use your valuable time to make amends and allow us to regain any trust that might have been lost due to our error. So without further adieu I return you all to your regularly scheduled programming, thank you and take care Seattle.
<Trid Screen fades to black>
Author: Alpha_Ryvius
Wow, never seen Horizon take back an article, guess somebody really fragged up around there. I'll try and vet a little better, but if those at the top of the chain are just pulling stuff like this outta left field I dunno how much I can do. Sorry chummers

• SysOP

[Shadow Broker]>>>: Hey there, chummers. I've gotten license from SysOp to speak to you all. Recently I've found my current ring of informants, while informative, frankly dull. If you have some info on something you think would be newsworthy, send it in a message to SysOp, and it'll get passed along to me. If its newsworthy, I'll make sure you're compensated for it. Shoot straight, chummers!
(OOC) Stories can be sent to shadownetwork, redgrave277, eljakob737, or ciaphas_daemos. Reward is based on the following scale:

• 2 GMP: a prompt, nothing written or drafted
  
• 3 GMP: a written article, requires editing and proofreading
  
• 4 GMP: fully reddit-formatted article, editors can simply copy and paste into the actual post
  

Happy writing!

• Media Team